10 short funny English Jokes

Written by Editor’s Picks, Student Life

1/A: Doctor, how can I live longer than 100 years?

Do you smoke?
A:No.
Do you eat too much?
A:No.

Do you go to bed late?
A:No.

Do you have affairs with promiscuous women?
A:No.

Then why would you want to live more than 100 years?

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2/How can I open a Banana

With a Monkey!

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3/What’s the best place to hide a body?

Page two of Google!

4/A man noticed his credit card has been stolen  but he never reported it. The thief was still spending less than his wife

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5/

Teacher: “Kids, what does the fluffy chicken give you?”

Students: “Eggs!”

Teacher: “Very good! Now what does the pink pig give you?”

Students: “Bacon!”

Teacher: “Great! And what does the fat cow give you?”

Students: “Homework!”

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6/When your mom sits on an iPhone it becomes an Ipad

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7/What does ‘IDK’ means?

I don’t know

OMG, no one knows!

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8/Don’t break anybody’s ear, they only have one.

Break their bones, they have 206

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9/”One day our country will be corruption free”. Which tense we should use in English?

FUTURE IMPOSSIBLE TENSE

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10/Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?
Customer: What other colors do you have?

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Last modified: May 9, 2016

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